You know, it's tough as hell feeling like you need to keep up and buy everyone something even if you know you can't afford to do so. But when you just can't, you feel like you're the biggest loser ever. And we all know that's just not the case. People that you love will always understand, and frankly, screw them if they don't. But it's also being far away from your loved ones, family or friends, during the holidays. No shit, right?
So I was trying my best to deal this year, no dice. I felt so awful the whole 4 days I had off for X-Mas. And I know it's silly to feel that way. But I also have MDD and my brain went into a serious nosedive. Maybe it was too many carbs and then a deeper dive. Not really, but a factor as that's something that affects me for a few hours, but not days.
Here I am a couple days out and I'm feeling a lot better. Being at work helps. Though I am getting better at my home time and not just watching movies and series. I play a couple of games but what I really want is to play with more electronics and tech. That, I like to do a lot. I really want a 3D printer to create stuff on. I may just go ahead and get one. But, we really need to pay off bills, not make new one. And we still need to catch up financially.
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